Saturday, October 23, 2004 By Maryam
Like a ladder.
It is never the same, and I have to smile when it happens.
I always discover new feelings and new sensations.
Somehow You make me more evident within myself.
When I finish my prayer ,
I feel that I have met myself again,
this time more deeply.
I count on me more and know me more.
There is only one reason to live this passionate love,
and it is the awareness that I am in You
and I am an entity as well.
Not only I pray Your countless names,
but I am also "in love" with those names,
and "in love" with my inner self,
the soul that thanks to You
has every Ramadan clearer shades and colors,
discovers new and unexpected joys and wonders.
Smiles when aware of realities that come from the Unseen.
You make me more attached to my source,
and more humble and stronger every time.
When a king receives his servant,
it will always happen that the servant
will make the king feel how much he is a king,
how powerful he is,
just by lowering his eyes.
Never the king will make his servant
feel like another king.
But when I pray, I feel that You make me feel
like a humble princess,
that I am not just someone who lowers her eyes
and forgets her own existence.
I feel that a strong power is giving a power to me,
through the prayer,
a power to love justice,
to love freedom
and to be myself more evident
in front of the eyes of my own soul.
This is why I feel You so true,
that it's not just a way to be sheltered from our fears, (what fears?),
our solitude, (solitude is not loneliness...)
or need to believe in something or someone.
It is not at all.
It is Your true love,
making us see ourselves like creatures with a purpose.
Great creatures in Your eyes.
How could I feel alone,
when Rabbina puts a mirror to the eyes of my soul?