Dedicated to Everyone

My God,

Tonight maybe,
Tonight is coming filled with tears,
The sun is a handkerchief
but it doesn't stop what I feel.
And I understand how it is,
that something without proper light
something dark, needing light to be seen
is more powerful than a thousand candles;
again,
so clear,
again,
it comes little by little.
The calendar that has loosing days
the sun REGIS ...
does it, in truth?
Could it be that what is straight for our understanding,
would be taken as a childish play in The Unseen?

Our logic, the making of straight decissions, date calendars
for our benefit
maybe is not what we think.
Others are losing the moons and the stars
for the sake of the sun.

I don't know, but I feel
I feel it could happen tonight.
And I want to wait, second by second,
like another theory of relativity, another evidence.
The one that walks on my face, candle flame of warming smiles.
Veils falling down, eyes wide open,
those of my heart,
those of my very own eyes.
To see, feel, touch, smell, hear
without turning my mind out from The Seen.
You are also Here.
And not just in The Unseen.

Tenderly, something becomes a moving heart inside my heart.
A dancing soul embraced to mine.
I discover the night of darkness
the most brilliant night.

Tonight.

Laylat al Qadr
Shaykh Nazim Adil al-Haqqani
Excerpt from
http://sunnah.org/ibadaat/fasting/laylat_ul_qadr.html

As I get ready for al-maghrib, I find myself thinking. I haven't eaten since yesterday at 3:00 nor drank a drop of water. Feeling so good, experimententing how my skin is becoming more rose and transparent, how my eyes let pass more then just a regard. And how I am greeted by those who don't know: "Oh you look so beautiful!" But I keep on thinking, it is something from inside that develops because the body is not busy with other tasks, then somehow other aspects start to appear enhanced and clean. "Well", I think, "this is incredible, I am following a precept that comes from the One I haven't seen, and it's a tough precept and yet I follow it eagerly. And it doesn't come from a doctor that I see here in the city. Maybe if this precept was given to me by a doctor Martin whom I might know... I would not be able to fulfil it the way I do it. And yet it doesn't come from a person but a precept from The Unseen. And I fulfil it. It amazes myself." Then, when I am over the edge to touch the earth , I feel that I am falling down the void, as if I were falling down a cliff. But suddenly I let myself go, going down towards an energy in shape of mountains that I can't see but I feel, taking me like an enormous embrace; and I am falling down to them, feeling an incredible shelter that it's impossible to express. And my tears flow like a river, while my head is still over the floor, my eyes wide open, my tears falling down the Kaaba on my carpet, one, two, three, down down down, it atonishes me again to see how many fall without stop. Someone would think I am suffering. But the truth is that my tears don't come from sadness, nor from happiness. They are expressing my emotion in front of another evidence. It's a strong evidence again, strong emotion, strong crying in silence. El Hamudllillah.

Maryam

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